


The Tale of the Beefy Five Layer Burrito

by kay_on_film



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Fluff and Humor, Gallows Humor, Gen, Humor, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I'm Going to Hell, Implied/Referenced Suicide, No Angst, Taco Bell, Texting, and in a hypothetical sense, au: theres no taco bell in england, but only for a second, god this is so stupid, i cant believe im publishing this, i just switched the names, itll make sense if you read it i swear, no beta we die like george's mushroom cottage, the author understands their mistakes but is not sorry, this was a real conversation between two of my friends, use of Beefy Five Layer Burrito as a plot device
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-28
Updated: 2020-12-28
Packaged: 2021-03-11 05:21:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,072
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28389960
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kay_on_film/pseuds/kay_on_film
Summary: so what's in a taco bell taco?---------------------------Or, Dream is sleep deprived and tries to explain Taco Bell to George(my friend sent me a message thread between him and someone else and it was so goddamn funny i just had to post it. i got his permission and asked what fandom he wanted me put this in and he said he didnt care so surprise now its dnf)(also for the purposes of this fic there's no taco bell in the uk (just go with it okay))(also i just realized the timestamps make no sense in context but... theyre the real timestamps from the actual conversation... so idk)
Relationships: Clay | Dream & GeorgeNotFound (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream/GeorgeNotFound (Video Blogging RPF), can be platonic or romantic - Relationship, you decide - Relationship
Comments: 36
Kudos: 159





	The Tale of the Beefy Five Layer Burrito

**Dream** _Today at 6:07 AM_

george

george i am going to go get taco bell

**GeorgeNotFound** _Today at 6:07 AM_

you should sleep

**Dream** _Today at 6:07 AM_

yes

yet i will not

**GeorgeNotFound** _Today at 6:07 AM_

please go to sleep

**Dream** _Today at 6:07 AM_

for i am a whimsy fellow

george do you have taco bell in england

it is a beautiful and terrible thing

**GeorgeNotFound** _Today at 6:08 AM_

we dont have taco bell in england 

unfortunately

**Dream** _Today at 6:09 AM_

eating taco bell is like romancing a beautiful woman

it is a careful game of words and unsaid cues

yet she could never love me

because i am eating taco bell

**GeorgeNotFound** _Today at 6:10 AM_

isnt taco bell like, fuckin, mcdonalds of tacos

**Dream** _Today at 6:10 AM_

yeah

its bad

**GeorgeNotFound** _Today at 6:10 AM_

oh so its that sort of relationship

its what kfc is to me

i like get

diarrhea after every chicken meal but i love that shit anyway

its bad

its like

really bad

**Dream** _Today at 6:11 AM_

exactly

**GeorgeNotFound** _Today at 6:11 AM_

but i could eat it forever

so whats in a taco bell taco

**Dream** _Today at 6:13 AM_

i look out at the heath and see the mists entwine with the gossamer threads of starlight, the gentle sway of the razorgrass mirroring the soft waves of the sea's salty surface, and i bite into a taco bell taco

**GeorgeNotFound** _Today at 6:13 AM_

is everything alright

**Dream** _Today at 6:13 AM_

there is "taco meat" which is like 5% meat and like 95% shitty soy filler

there's lettuce

wilted, of course

and there's 4 tiny pieces of underripe tomato

but the taco is not the glory of taco bell

the taco is John the Baptist

it arrives only to christen the glory with its name, and to lead us to the messiah

the Beefy Five Layer Burrito

george

george listen to me

**GeorgeNotFound** _Today at 6:14 AM_

i am

im listening

**Dream** _Today at 6:15 AM_

george

the beefy five layer burrito is better than sex

**GeorgeNotFound** _Today at 6:15 AM_

what does it have in it

**Dream** _Today at 6:16 AM_

first, it is the soft tang of cheddar cheese

like the scent of a forgotten lover on your sheets, it lingers and reminds you of a strange, homey memory of years past

then the cleansing downpour of sour cream

like a cold shower after a long shift at the railyard, cleansing and rejuvenating your body

the beans come next

the beans take you back to a simpler time

you frolicked through the orchards with your pony, Tisiphone, and your sweetheart, Abigail

you rode for miles across your father's fields, never looking back

never having to

it was just the 3 of you, nothing could stop you

but then Abigail's father sold the farm

**GeorgeNotFound** _Today at 6:20 AM_

im beginning to feel this is starting to be an autobiography

**Dream** _Today at 6:20 AM_

he moved to the north, and took her away

george this is not an autobiography

by partaking in a beefy five layer burrito, you gain more than your own life story

you experience the life you could have lived

**GeorgeNotFound** _Today at 6:20 AM_

this is just fanfiction of your life isnt it

**Dream** _Today at 6:21 AM_

the night abigail left, you and tisiphone rode hard and fast into the fields

you didnt care where you were going

you just needed to ride

you spurred on tisi. _faster, girl!_ you said. _faster!_ , spurring her forward with tears in your eyes

you never saw the trench

**GeorgeNotFound** _Today at 6:22 AM_

does the horse die next

**Dream** _Today at 6:22 AM_

abigail's family's barn had been bought by a rail mogul, and hed already begun laying foundations for ballast and ties

tisi was going too fast to stop, and you both fell deep into an earthen womb, feeling the snap of bones and the winnie of pain from your last friend

**GeorgeNotFound** _Today at 6:23 AM_

this is just that critic scene from ratatouille except with more forrest gump isnt it

**Dream** _Today at 6:23 AM_

you were found in the morning by your father

you couldn't move - both your ankles were broken, and your left arm was shattered from the elbow

and tisiphone... tisi would never ride again.

your father did the kind thing, and gave her the only mercy left: a bullet between the eyes

**GeorgeNotFound** _Today at 6:24 AM_

dream

**Dream** _Today at 6:25 AM_

then comes the nacho cheese

**GeorgeNotFound** _Today at 6:25 AM_

dream when did you sleep

dream no

**Dream** _Today at 6:25 AM_

the nacho cheese is the pain

the burning in your splint, the rash from the cast

but more than that its the burning in your heart

the love you felt for abigail, crushed

your one friend, tisi, dead in the ground. the same ground that took her life. 

**GeorgeNotFound** _Today at 6:26 AM_

all of this happened didnt it

**Dream** _Today at 6:26 AM_

unable to work, your pa cant keep you on the farm

your legs never healed right, and your gimp arm wont carry a backhoe for your life

**GeorgeNotFound** _Today at 6:26 AM_

this is just the story of that one

that fuckin

movie that everyone has seen

that fucking movie that always plays when its christmas

isnt it

**Dream** _Today at 6:27 AM_

at 17 you find an opium den

you wake up the next morning to find that 15 years have passed

**GeorgeNotFound** _Today at 6:27 AM_

wait no i dont like where this is going

**Dream** _Today at 6:28 AM_

you think back to all those years ago, to your father and tisiphone

and you give yourself the only mercy left

a bullet between the eyes

...

cajun spiced ground beef

**GeorgeNotFound** _Today at 6:29 AM_

oh god no

**Dream** _Today at 6:29 AM_

i forgot i was describing a burrito

**GeorgeNotFound** _Today at 6:29 AM_

i know

**Dream** _Today at 6:29 AM_

ok im gonna go sleep now

**GeorgeNotFound** _Today at 6:29 AM_

dream is everything alright

okay then 

sleep well

**Author's Note:**

> so yeah thats the thing
> 
> the first time i read this thread i felt like i was on acid ngl
> 
> the person i made dream is a good friend of mine but ive actually never met the person i made george lmao
> 
> i think they both write for the scp foundation though which explains a lot
> 
> my friends are weirdos
> 
> thanks for reading 
> 
> lov u <3


End file.
